Prioritizing your mental health isn’t always easy,but wellness entrepreneur Desirée Paiswants to helpyou discover how
As the founder ofBENSHEN.co, an integrative platform that makespersonalwellbeing“inviting, accessible and practical,”Desiréeuses herbottomless toolkit ofspiritualteachingsand practicestohelppeople explorethevariousways theycancreate a balancedand purpose-driven life.Whether it’s a gratitude journalor three minutes of morning meditation, the key is carving out that time for yourself to reframe, reflect, and reenergize.With May being Mental Health Awareness Month,now might be the perfect space for you to start (or restart) your very own mindfulness routine.
Eventhough everyone’s mental health journey is personal, youdon’thave totravelalone.Last week, Desirée led an inspiring breathworksessionfor Girl Up’s Global Fitness Challengeand wecaught up with her to discusshow we can build a strong support systemto help usthroughoutourjourney, whyfiguringout our “why”is the key to staying consistent,and what she’s manifesting right now for future generations of girls.
Why were you inspired to join the Global Fitness Challenge and which part are you most excited about?
I struggledas a young womanwith depression,anxiety,and a lot of mental health challenges due to variousreasons,so it’sbeautifulto be able to go to this age group whereitall started for me.I wish that I had someonesay, ‘herearesome tools to get through this’or‘this might help you’or just anythingbecausethere was nothing. So,I feelreallyexcited to be with the girls,answer questions,and sharesystemsand practices.Itfeels very special.
How do you hope participants view meditation and mindfulness after attending your session? What do you hope they’ve learned?
I hopetheycan see it’s not very intimidatingor something that needs to take a long time. Alot of the practices that Ishare areabout three minutes longso I hopetheyseethey can have this toolkit that only takes a littletime, is very beneficial to use, andtheycanutilizethesepractices to developtheirinner strengthtoo becausebeing that age is not easy.
Where do you personally find your inner strength and how do you think others can find theirs?
I think a lot of it is havingareally strongcommunity to bea part of. In our course, wecreate a space where they practice no gossip, notalkingbadabouteach other, no complaining, butgivingspace to talk about what’s going on in life.We created a community of womenelevating womenand Ithink, especially at that age,to have a community thatisuplifting each otheris very importantbecauseitcan be a very catty timewherea lot of people aretearing each other down.I was made fun of alot –it’s very painfulinthemoment,butknow that itdoesn’tmatter in the long run. Don’t try to be part of the cool crowd; be part of where you feel good.
Idefinitely agreeit’s important to find that community and build that support systemand it’s so encouraging tohavemorefriendsbecomecomfortablewith openlysharing their mental health journeys. But, in all honesty,it canalsosometimes become overwhelming, especially on social media. How can peoplegive themselves the time and space to distance themselves whenthey need to for their own mental health without feeling guilty?
It’s a tough territory, becausewe want to be vulnerable, we want to sharebecause,asBrenéBrownsays,the most powerful thing someone can sayis‘metoo.’But,at the same time, we don’t want to bereliving it everysingleday.When you identify with that, it’s a different story versus what youarecreating from that, how youaremoving forward. For me, I could sit here and say I have depression,I have anxiety, orI have fatigue. ButI became really consciousof thatbecause every time you say,‘I have’or‘I am’,you’re solidifying that even more.So,I’mreallyexcited about what I can create,whereI can go,how I can give back from whatI’velearnedandhow Icanhelp others.Wehave our stories, which are all valid and real, but at the same time, we want to make surewe’realso actively creatingand co-creating thestory.
What would be a“simple”first step someone can take to begin prioritizing their mentalhealth,especially for people who may have never done so before?
Definitely seeksupport in whateverwayyou can. It’s very important to know that you’re not alone when you’reworking with mentalhealth, whether that be from a therapist oryourcommunity.Start with journaling. Start with gratitude, start with creation, start with what action steps you’re going to take.Then you can move into seeing where you need support or what you’re going to do about it.It’s so important to reframe your mindfirst thingin the morning to set the tone for the day.
Let’ssayyou’vesuccessfully created this routine.You’remeditating every morning,you’refeeling good, but somethinghappensandyou’rethrown off your routine.Ifthat happens, how canwefind themotivation to rededicate that time tothese daily practices,refocusonourselves, and regain that discipline?
Discipline is such an interesting word becauseif you lookin thedictionary, thereareactually twodefinitions of discipline. One is to teach through punishmentand that is so often how we associate discipline—that if I don’t do this, I’m a bad person.The other definition of discipline is a branch of knowledge.So, knowing your‘why’is really important.
The other part when youfall off the wagon—and I do this all the time—isgiving yourself a little bit more landing space. Instead of,‘I’mgoing todo it tomorrow’ or‘I’mgoing to do it today’,giveyourself permission. Maybe you fell off because you really needed some space, or you needed to spendtime withyourfamily, or maybe youwere justgoing toohardand youneeded thesunshine for a couple daysandenjoy.After,it’s aboutfiguring out what your plan is, giving yourself a start date, and thenhere’s the biggestsecret:onceyou’re back on what was supposed to be“day one”in your mind,pretend you’re on day 100. I can cultivate the feelings of being on day 100 on day one and it makes me more excited rather than the heaviness of my mind saying, ‘who do you think you are starting over again’.I know what it feels like to be successful so I just channel that feeling instead of the guilt and the shame.
It seems likevisualizing andmanifestingarebecoming popular concepts.Are there any hopes you’re“manifesting”for future generations of girls?
Definitelymentalhealth. I hope that all young women can create supportive communities instead of ones where they’re tearing each other apart. That’s the time we’re in with social media, with the kinds of TV content, but I’m really hoping there can bereally goodrole models for them.But,Ithink a lot of great things are happening with the younger generationand we sometimes underestimate them.
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In case you missed Desirée’s “Breath Work 101” session on Friday,head to a soothing space(both physical & mental!)andwatchthe recording hereforevenmore daily mindfulness tips.Plus, don’t forget to check out all the other exciting sessions we have in store for your minds, bodies, and souls this month atourGlobal Fitness Challenge portal!
This conversation has been edited for clarity and length.
About the 2021 Girl Up Global Fitness Challenge
We’re calling on our global network of leaders, partners, and supporters of all ages to join us in our first virtual Global Fitness Challenge. The Global Fitness Challenge centers wellness in our communities while fundraising to expand refugee girls’ access to education in Ethiopia. Each Friday in May, Girl Up will be hosting activities, conversations, and fitness challenges led by pro athletes and trainers rooted in Girl Up’s three wellness components: mind, body, and soul.By participating in the month-long fitness challenge, you’ll help usreach our goal of raising $50,000for Girl Up’s work with the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees (UNHCR) while learning how to move, think, and eat in ways that value your entire self.To find out more about the Challenge and how you can participate, clickhere.
